


he will make you love again

by taekwoons



Category: HOTSHOT (Band), Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, but here we go, i was actually hesitant of posting this, in sungwoon's pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 06:52:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13429218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taekwoons/pseuds/taekwoons
Summary: Sungwoon spends nights after nights giving up the flutters of being in love, until a man comes and teaches him that he can fall in love too.





	he will make you love again

**Author's Note:**

> the result of sungwoon's fckn beauty at macau fanmeeting ([this!!!](https://twitter.com/LOVEGRAPHY_SW/status/953618747209601024)), and endless loops of overthinking by offonoff.
> 
> ~~why do i write this kind of au again...~~

At times, Sungwoon would begin to think to himself, on how he wishes he had the privilege of being able to go back to a home that feels like his, that feels comfortable and cosy, like a real home.

When he passes by the busy streets, aimlessly walking around, he sees countless of couples, huddled together, hands intertwined together, or an arm wrapped around a shoulder or waist of an another. Sungwoon wishes he had a person, a lover, that he can tell secrets to; tell him how his day has been and hear the same from his significant other, bask in the warmth of a person that you love, but he knows it’s all a wistful thinking. The life that he’s going through would never allow him to do so.

Who would love him? As a person whose job depends on the company of others, depends on his face and voice, he knows all the sweet-talks he hears each night are fake, just a source of sweetness to his already bleak heart, merely a tip to the service that would come later on. He finds it pathetic, every friend he has – correction, used to have – as well finds it pathetic, so once again, who would want to love him?

Sungwoon spends nights after nights giving up the flutters of being in love, until a man comes and teaches him that he can fall in love too.

 

 

 

It is those lazy nights, those sentimental evenings that sees less of the crowd and hears less of the noise, that Sungwoon would first see the figure that would linger at the corner of his eyes for the next days.

Nothing of the unusual, the bar is at the time where it is off-peak, and so the bar is filled with jazz music played by the live band, the usual saxophone playing and the soft tones of the piano in the background. Sungwoon’s up to sing in the next hour, and as a warm-up for him, he heads to the bar to grab some free booze. Tonight he isn’t wearing anything fancy, just the casual outfit for the easy-going night, and he always appreciates nights like these because not only does he get to strip down to his comfortable state; but it is also then he gets to sing the song of his choice and not the same tunes that the public prefers to listen to.

“Closing shift tonight?” He casually picks up a conversation with the newbie, who was at first on his toes at every second in his time here, but has gradually gotten better.

“Yeah, I can’t fight against the rest at this stage,” The newbie chuckles to himself. “The same drink?”

Sungwoon nods in reply and is shortly served by the newbie, and spends the rest of his free time sitting there, enjoying the silence between the two of them amongst the slightly noisy bar. He appreciates the fact that the newbie enjoys silence as much as he does. Sometimes his job requires him to socialise too much to the point that it physically and mentally drains him, and all he needs is some alone time, or merely a company with no conversation in between.

When the live band halts its instruments, Sungwoon knows that it is time for him to come up to the stage, and he reluctantly rises from the seat, putting down the wine glass on the bar table and thanking the newbie for his time.

 _It’s okay, today shall pass as well_ , he repeats to himself as he strolls to the stage and hears a few whistles welcoming him from the audience area.

 

 

 

It’s halfway through his performance that he finally realises the figure at the corner of his eye.

Somehow, Sungwoon didn’t notice the presence. His comfortable state was getting the better of him, and the audience tonight was great as well – didn’t every now and then interrupted his focus by whistling or shouting undesirable words at him. He just happened to turn to his left and met the eyes of the new guest. Unfamiliar, thus the reason why it caught the whole of Sungwoon’s attention, but it seemed to have intimidated the guest because now he’s looking down and turning to drink from his glass. It nearly made Sungwoon chuckle in surprise. It is not always he gets to see such shy guests, more of the bold and brazen clients instead, always catcalling him. It’s a pleasant surprise, indeed.

He continues on without caring so much of the new guest, but now that he has noticed the presence, it is hard for him not to literally feel the stare the man was making at him. Of course, a lot of the others are as well staring at him, but the stare he felt from his left is different, it – in a way – is as if it’s trying to turn his head to stare back at the man. He finishes his performance by looking right straight into the eyes of the man of his attention, and he didn’t expect the shy guest to reciprocate by doing the same; as if he’s telling Sungwoon that _yes, I want you_.

It is of no surprise when Sungwoon leaves the stage to return to the bar table only to be followed, the presence lingering a few distances away from him, before slowly walking closer to him and sitting right next to him.

“Hello,” the stranger greets him, and Sungwoon turns his head to reply back the greeting and takes his time to analyse him.

The stranger is well-dressed, smartly dressed too. The white shirt tucked beneath his smart pants, the long black coat that fits him so nicely like it is meant for him and him only to wear, as if his clothes were tailor-made for him. It seems that the stranger noticed the slight ‘judging act’ Sungwoon is doing, though rather than him looking uncomfortable, it looks as if he’s expecting it from the start.

“I enjoyed your performance earlier,” The stranger compliments, breaking the small silence, a bright smile hanging around his lips and Sungwoon knows exactly what the stranger would ask him after the compliment.

“I’m Daniel, what’s your name?”

Though, this is different from what Sungwoon expected? Another pleasant surprise.

“Sungwoon,” He replies, and Daniel holds out a hand, and when Sungwoon returns the gesture, he notices how the man engulfs his hand almost totally. Maybe after this name-exchanging thing, Daniel would ask the question every client of his would ask.

“Nice to meet you, Sungwoon,” Daniel chirps out, fully turning his body to Sungwoon. “Do you sing here every day?”

“Yeah, kind of,” Sungwoon responds and stifles a snort. “You’re new here, aren’t you?”

Daniel immediately brings a hand to his head to ruffle the back of his hair in embarrassment, the crinkle in his eyes going deeper and his lips stretched out wide. “Yeah… It’s my first time here.”

“So, you’re singing tomorrow too?” Sungwoon nods in reply. “In the evening, too?” Sungwoon nods again.

“Great, see you again tomorrow,” Daniel says before standing up and bowing at Sungwoon, announcing his leave and exits the bar, leaving Sungwoon confused as well.

First things first, Daniel did a lot of things that normal clients wouldn’t do: ask for his name, respecting the boundary, and not forcing any touches nor the outrageous flirting acts. Though, most importantly, when he complimented Sungwoon on his performance, he could see the sincerity in his eyes. And that’s what nobody has ever done to him, even his fellow colleagues.

 

 

 

Sungwoon didn’t think much of the words left by Daniel the night before, that he is going to come back and see him sing again, until he finds the same familiar glint of eyes coming from the left of his view again.

Seated at the same spot as he did last night, this time with a much casual outfit as compared to yesterday – contrary to Sungwoon’s ones that have taken on a fancier turn for the night requires him to do so – Daniel sits with a poise that cannot be fathomed by others. Somehow, the aura Daniel carries with him tonight is more powerful than that of the previous night, and when Sungwoon coincidentally met eyes with him, he nods in polite acknowledge, as if he’s proudly proving to Sungwoon that he has kept his words; different from the shy vibe he gave off last night.

It’s funny how Sungwoon felt slightly nervous and jittery that night, just because there’s someone in the audience there that actually cares and pays attention to his usual uncared-for performance. He’s kind of glad that his outfit is nicer tonight.

Sungwoon sings with his eyes closed, one for the emotions, and one for focusing, since Daniel’s presence is the cause to his nervousness. He might mess up if he didn’t focus. The moment he ends his performance, he immediately leaves the stage to calm his nerves down, the jitters in him not leaving even when he tried his best to input his utmost focus into his song. He must have been deprived of such sincere attention to make him into such a mess.

“That was a great performance.” He hears the familiar deep voice from yesterday, and he was just about to respond (albeit shakily) to the compliment when he feels a wet kiss on his left cheek.

“Hey, sweetie. Great as always.”

Sungwoon rolls his eyes in annoyance and turns his body away from the source of the annoyance, and sees the bewildered expression on Daniel. He nearly snorts at how adorable he looks before he’s being tugged on his left shoulder, causing him to click on his tongue in displease as he’s being forced to turn.

“Oi, found a new one already? What about me?”

“Yeah, so go away, loser. Also, I told you so many times before. I don’t allow kisses, so that’s a minus point from you.” Sungwoon has always been honest, spitting right onto the face of those who disrespect him, but it must have been an eye-opening situation for Daniel who’s just frozen on his sides.

“Well then,” The man groans out. “I have others to bother.”

And the man gives up and leaves, to Sungwoon’s pleasure and Daniel’s relief.

“Sorry, just ignore that guy earlier,” He apologises after finding his senses, waving his hands away at the man’s direction and motions Daniel to sit next to him. “But hey, you really came.”

“Yeah,” Daniel replies, and stares at Sungwoon. “You look really nice today, by the way.”

“Thank you,” Sungwoon thanks sincerely and smiles in appreciation, his eyes cast down in humbleness. When he looks up, he finds Daniel gazing at him.

“I like that you’re smiling,” Daniel says simply as if it wouldn’t cause any kind of butterflies in Sungwoon. In return, Sungwoon turns his head away and coughs to cover up any sort of blush, instead rolling his eyes when he turns back to Daniel to appear nonchalant about it.

“Say, what is about that ‘no kiss’ thing you said earlier?”

“Oh.” Sungwoon’s surprised Daniel actually picked that information up. “I just don’t allow platonic kisses.”

“So… I can’t kiss you?”

Sungwoon crosses his arms and snorts. “No.”

“Can’t I kiss you?” Daniel cheekily plays with Sungwoon, this time leaning closer to him only to be stopped by a hand on his chest and a judgemental face from Sungwoon.

“Okay, okay,” Daniel laughs. “I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“So fast?” Sungwoon finds himself saying it without realising, and immediately regrets it after, with how provoking the grin Daniel’s flashing him, but it is also, very much blinding.

“Oh, I didn’t know you wanted me to stay longer,” Daniel teases him.

“Well,” Sungwoon clears his throat. “You seem to be the only sane one here, so.”

He can’t help but notice the lines of Daniel's face, the beginning of which his lips stretch at its tips, his smile deepening and his cheeks raised up in delight, then the way one of his eyes closed and how he begins giggling at what Sungwoon had just said.

“I’m glad.” Daniel is hunching up his shoulders in a somewhat act of embarrassment, and Sungwoon finds it cute.

“So, any recommendations for drinks?”

 

Sungwoon kept ordering one of the strongest liquors the bartender can concoct up for him the whole time they spent together, because the way Daniel is leaning his head on his palm as he gazes at him (and he realises the drink Daniel ordered has been forgone) throughout the company and conversation is definitely, most definitely the number one cause behind the rising heat in his body, with liquor as the second reason.

 

 

 

It surprises Sungwoon again when he finds Daniel waiting for him at the corner of the bar the next day even though he has mentioned about it yesterday, the familiar figure snatching his whole attention away.

It surprises him more when Daniel comes up to him with a rose in his hand, and another blinding smile, that if Sungwoon exaggerates, it felt as if thousands of lights are flashed onto him.

“Saw this little girl selling flowers by the street and I thought of you,” Daniel mentions, then he scratches his head. “I hope you’re not the type to reject flowers?”

No one, literally no one in his entire existence has ever gifted him flowers. No one has ever seen given him flowers in thoughts of him.

Sungwoon accepts the rose without any delay, and for some reasons he sees himself laying a quick kiss onto Daniel, but his inner conscience pulls him back into reality before he can delve himself into that dreamy image.

They talked again that night, and suddenly Sungwoon’s usual mundane nights became nights of in which Sungwoon sings, and then he spends the rest of his evening together with Daniel.

 

 

 

For some reasons, performing has become more bearable each day after Daniel had appeared.

If Daniel had been the reason behind his jitters before, now, Daniel is the reason he finds encouragement in trying to put on a better performance each time. It’s strange, how a single compliment can change so many things. He’s more confident to stride his way to the stage, knowing that someone, at least one of the audience, that looks forward to him singing as much as he does, and there’s also something to look forward to after his performance – the company.

At first, he’s merely enjoying the praises Daniel gives him, but as time goes by, Daniel accompanies him through the night, and Sungwoon didn’t even realise it has been days, and that he hasn’t been taking in any clients, until one day his manager decides to drop the hint to him of the dissatisfaction some of the bar-goers expressed.

“Sungwoon, I think you should divide your attention more,” His manager tells him one day. “You’ve been giving your attention to that only guy, but the others are waiting for you too.”

He nods and understands, but he wishes he can say back that the others can’t provide him with the same kind of happiness Daniel gives him, the happiness that he’s been longing for.

 

 

 

Though with happiness, comes sadness, right?

Sungwoon thinks to himself late at night about the things Daniel does that makes him happy, he can’t help but think, it may all just be kindness, or courtesy. It might be that he is just waiting for the right time to break the question to him, it might be that he is just searching for a source of happiness, like how Sungwoon is in such a hopeless place, unfortunately.

It haunts him at night sometimes, the thought eating him alive on how his life might be mundane all the way, and he finds himself at the edge of his room’s balcony, looking down at all the individuals walking, some going back to their house, some walking with their loved ones, and Sungwoon feels the same jealousy bubbling up in him every time he sees such scenes when he knows he can’t experience the same way.

Sometimes, when he’s at such a vulnerable state like this, he finds himself peering down too much, his waist delved deep into the metal railing of the balcony. He would see a figure at the back of his mind, a figure that has been haunting him for years. It’s scary, it’s intimidating, and at times it becomes too much that Sungwoon just runs to the bathroom to throw his face with cold water, throw those images away.

And then he’s back to the same old routines: singing, and attending to clients.

 

 

 

Sungwoon may eat his own emotions away, but he is the kind that finds it easy to be honest with people.

He finds no trouble in being straight-forward; tells the person right to the face, takes in no offence to the hurt and curses that might be hurled right back to his own face when he does so, because as much as this job requires him to sweet-talk to his clients, he is also human.

He also has feelings, and he as well has limits.

He guesses that’s how he managed to stay in this line for so long, even though everyone around him looked down on him, because how is this a good field to stay in? But he’s slightly different from the rest: maybe because of his seniority, he has the right to choose which clients to stay with the night, and he also has the right to refuse the sex if a client asks for him to do so. Yes, this is his job, and it is indeed unconventional.

But it’s fine to Sungwoon. It’s fine because he learns that in life, nothing is dreamy and whimsical like those sappy plays at the centre of the streets, or those written in romantic novels. He learns that sometimes, things are just the way it is, and you can’t help but go with the flow of it. He learns, understands and accepts. This is what he gets, this is his fate. He has to survive, and he will have to do so with his face, his voice and his body. He couldn’t wish for love, correction: no one would give him love; for people only want him for those qualities, and nothing more.

That is why he is quick to think that Daniel only comes with the same reason as the others.

 

Daniel thinks the otherwise.

Because when Sungwoon leads Daniel up to his room, asking him ‘the question’ right straight to his face, all he’s being responded is a simple, yet firm, “This is not what I want.”

 

Reversing a few steps back, what had happened before Daniel spoke those words was Sungwoon with misinterpretation in his mind.

It has been more than a week since Daniel keeps coming to the bar, each day with the same nod and the same acknowledgement, though his compliments and sweet words were different every time. It causes Sungwoon to begin thinking to himself, why hasn’t the young man asked the question? Or maybe not a question itself, but the kind of actions his clients would do to him; the subtle yet not-so-subtle gestures and touches, the words whispered into his ears that bore a certain meaning to it. Maybe, Sungwoon ponders to himself, maybe Daniel is just the shy type and intends to do the same actions until Sungwoon gets it and initiates it himself.

And that is how it got Sungwoon to take matters into his own hands.

It is the same evening again, of which Sungwoon performs, and Daniel watches him from a corner of the bar. It seems that Daniel has well made himself known of Sungwoon’s performance schedules, because he truly, only comes when he performs.

“Sometimes I wonder how you can belt those notes effortlessly every single night,” Daniel speaks as he walks right next to Sungwoon as they both head to an empty table right after his performance ends, and somehow it feels as if Daniel is his special VIP client with how he’s always the first to approach Sungwoon right after a performance without being rejected like he usually does to the others.

“Maybe one day you can teach me some songs, yes?” Daniel suggests, while Sungwoon merely laughs at the suggestion because him? Really?

“There are so many other singers that are good here too, though,” Sungwoon says abashedly. “You’re just being biased.”

“I am, I am,” Daniel admits and snickers to himself.

That’s when the sudden thought came to his mind, and the misunderstanding in him causes him to take matters into his own hands. Sungwoon thinks, with how Daniel has been coming for so long but is still not talking about it, maybe Daniel has been waiting for far too long. Maybe it is true that he is waiting for Sungwoon to speak about it. He did try to playfully kiss him even when Sungwoon had mentioned to him on his hatred towards platonic kisses, so maybe it is time for him to initiate the actions himself.

“Hey,” Sungwoon starts and holds the hand that’s hanging by the table. “Let’s go.”

Daniel looks at him with a puzzled face, though his eyes keep going back to the hands gripped with his. “Go? Where are we going?”

Sungwoon keeps silent and leads the both of them to a hallway, his determined force missing the tug on his hand when he continues leading up the staircase. When they finally reached the door (that holds a nightmare for Sungwoon, but maybe with Daniel, it might not be as bad), Sungwoon glances up at Daniel with an expectant smile and unlocks the door, ushers him in before locking the door behind him. Daniel is still looking at him with a confused expression, though his gaze is harder.

“You’ve been wanting to ask for this, right?” Sungwoon asks, and his fingers that previously gripped the hand of Daniel’s now raise up to start unbuttoning his shirt.

It is all silence momentarily, before a sigh could be heard from Daniel.

“This is not what I want,” is all Daniel says, firmly. Sungwoon freezes, his hands hover blankly over his shirt.

“Yes, I came here for you, but this is not what I want,” He reiterates and puts down Sungwoon’s hands, before buttoning up his shirt, Sungwoon’s eyes merely following Daniel’s fingers, body rigid.

“I don’t understand,” Sungwoon says as Daniel’s buttoning the last button up the collar.

Daniel stares into his eyes, and the hands that held his shirt now come up to rest at the sides of his neck.

“I’ll show you what I want.”

He leans in right away, aiming for Sungwoon’s lips, but Sungwoon is faster and blocks off Daniel, pushing him away, his reflexes too used to rejecting it.

“You want to kiss me?”

“I said it before, right? No kisses,” Sungwoon reminds him and just before he gets to pry off the hands on his neck, Daniel does it first.

“Then dragging me here is useless,” Daniel scoffs, turning his back away from Sungwoon. “You don’t seem to get it.”

“What?” Sungwoon raises his voice, because it’s getting frustrating. “What don’t I get?”

Daniel runs a hand through his hair and breathes in deep, before spinning around to face Sungwoon.

“I like you, Sungwoon. I don’t know whether you just don’t get it, or you’re just blocking me off, but I really like you and I want to kiss you. I want to do everything with you.”

Sungwoon’s frowning at him, because his mind is working towards the same way: how could anyone in the right mind actually like him considering his situation?

“Daniel–”

Daniel stops his words before he even gets to continue. “I know what you’re going to say, but I don’t care.” He sighs out. “I don’t care about your job, I don’t care about what people think of you, of us, because I like you. And that’s it.”

“Since when does liking someone comes with a condition?” He taunts and laughs in bitterness, while Sungwoon stands there trying to comprehend his muddled mind. The words hit him continuously like darts aiming straight at him, straight towards his heart, meant to puncture right into it.

“Alright, fine, maybe you just don’t get it, with how all these clients of yours have been treating you. I’ll make you understand someday.”

Daniel walks off to the door, his hunched figure looking so lonely as he leaves Sungwoon’s side.

“You can like me, Sungwoon. You can love me,” Daniel tells him right before he leaves the room, as if he had read through Sungwoon’s chaotic mind. “And, people can love you, too.”

Throughout the remaining hours of the night, Daniel’s words never left Sungwoon’s head.

 

 

 

Sungwoon didn’t know what to expect when he is welcomed with the sight of Daniel at the door of his room the next morning, with a rose held out to him.

“Hello, my name’s Daniel. How do you do?” Daniel greets him as if he just met him.

He stood there, mouth ajar. This is totally out of his imagination. What’s happening?

“Daniel, what are you doing?” Sungwoon questions, clearly flabbergasted by the sudden change of situation.

Daniel grabs Sungwoon’s hands and gently placed the rose in them, and welcomes himself inside as if he lives there, and laughs when Sungwoon runs up to him to shoot him with frowns and daggers.

“Nothing. I just thought of starting afresh, to be the gentleman in a relationship.”

Sungwoon looks blankly at the man now seated comfortably on the bed, his mouth unable to open up to even say a coherent word. Daniel’s always doing something new for him.

“So? What do you think of us spending the day talking about each other?” Daniel suggests, standing up to walk to Sungwoon and hold his hand.

Sungwoon welcomes the offer.

 

 

 

Certain days are spent like that.

When Sungwoon is not scheduled to perform at the bar, Daniel will sometimes come up to his room, and knock on his door. The other workers and his manager must have known of Daniel’s frequent visits to the bar (as well as Sungwoon’s likeness towards him) that they have never stopped him from coming up.

His room is actually a place where Sungwoon, if possible, do not wish to open up to other than those times where he needs to for his clients, but somehow, Daniel is filling the room up with pleasant memories now.

Like how Daniel is cutting up a piece of cake on his table, telling Sungwoon that he needs to have some sort of sweetness in his life, which is why exactly he brings up a cake, and although it’s being cut up in a way that Sungwoon wants to smack the man’s head because it’s cut up in such an awful shape, it still causes a stir in him that is close to endearment.

And then the hours will fly by just like that.

 

 

 

“When can I have your permission to kiss you?”

“When I truly like you.”

Sungwoon expects a frustrated response, but instead, Daniel nods in agreement and accepts it.

“I’ll wait for the day to come, then.”

 

 

 

If he were to be real honest with himself, it is true that he likes Daniel.

Sungwoon can no longer deny that yes, he has actually been in love with Daniel since day one, since the day he met Daniel and is pleasantly surprised by his attitude, and the following days where he continued to impress him with so many other acts. He can no longer deny that Daniel has been the encouragement to his life.

But it takes a while. He wishes he can say that out loud to Daniel, tell him to wait for him a little longer, that he’ll be there welcoming him with open arms when the time comes.

He never said it out, but Daniel still comes by day by day, waits for him like he usually does at the corner of the bar, or now occasionally at the other side of his door.

 

 

 

“Aren’t you tired?” Sungwoon asks one day, looking down the balcony.

They’re both out on the balcony, enjoying the breeze when it suddenly dawned on him, suddenly came to him; the feeling of the urge to peer down more than he’s supposed to.

“Of what?”

“Me.” He can feel the sharp turn of Daniel’s stare at him. “You’ve been coming here for days, but I’ve never done anything to change.”

“I told you,” Daniel starts before taking Sungwoon’s hands into his. One thing Sungwoon realises about Daniel is that he has never initiated touches other than the hand-holding, as if he’s waiting for Sungwoon’s permission, still not crossing any boundaries. “I told you that I’ll wait for you.”

Sungwoon takes a while to respond, but when he does, he wraps his arms around Daniel’s torso and rests his head on his chest.

 

 

 

It’s one of those days.

Sungwoon finds himself at the edge of the balcony again, leaning over, fingers gripped tight on the ledge, waist dipped deep into the metal, head hung down that he could see the furniture below his level, and he sees a figure at the back of his mind.

The triggers can come unexpectedly, just appearing without any reason, more ever with the room that bears no such good memories, the corners that holds certain details of unwanted memories, nooks and creaks that is always associated with something unpleasant.

Today is the same situation, same scenario as other days, but there’s something uncommon today; that the figure he sees today is a different one. It used to be a familiar figure, one that has been a constant image yet haunts him with the same fear, but now the figure is unusual. It is not menacing, nor threatening. It is the figure that he has been seeing for the past few weeks lingering at the corner of his eyes, sitting there, waiting for his acknowledgement. And there might also be a voice… It’s calling for him…

“Sungwoon.”

There really is a voice.

Sungwoon jolts up from his position and turns around, his back now dipped into the ledge, and there he is. The figure, and the person that anchored him back to life.

The person that patiently waited for him.

Daniel doesn’t run, doesn’t give him any worry face, no sympathy nor pity in his eyes, but just a calm front and a smile that bears no weight in it. It seems that he knows the exact problem, but he chose not to mention it. The walk he does to him has no rush in it, and when they are finally of a close distance to each other, Daniel cradles Sungwoon’s head in his hand and his other arm wrapped gently across his waist. It feels nice, Sungwoon admits, being hold gently like a gem, being embraced and enveloped by a scent that solely belongs to Daniel. He feels like petals of a flower being blown away by the wind; calm, serene, and safe, because he sees the ground that he’s about to fall into, and it is Daniel.

This is it, Sungwoon says to himself. He won’t deny nor defy himself anymore.

“Thank you,” Sungwoon finally bursts and buries his face into the comfort of Daniel’s shirt, the smooth black lines of his shirt now slowly forming into creases, a dry shirt now getting moist with his tears.

Once again, Daniel doesn’t question, doesn’t ask him why he thanked him, why was he at the edge, why is he crying now. He merely guides the two of them inside, still holding him tender, onto the bed and hoists Sungwoon up to seat him on his lap. It’s so warm, so comfortable. It feels like home, and it has been so long since Sungwoon is given such a privilege.

And this is exactly why Sungwoon said thank you, because no other person could understand his needs, his underlying problems and worries, his sharps ends and corners like Daniel does.  

“Stay with me,” Daniel whispers into his ears. “Move in with me.”

“Okay,” Sungwoon readily replies, and rises from burying his face into Daniel’s chest to look into his eyes, and sees nothing but love and affection.

He wraps his arms around Daniel’s neck and presses a long kiss on his lips, eyes closed tight and all he tastes is sweetness, and feels the squeeze in his chest when he finally exhales out an ‘I love you’ into Daniel’s mouth.

Sungwoon quits the very next day.

 

 

 

It is the day that Sungwoon is moving in Daniel’s house, and Daniel’s leading him up the stairs to the door of his house – their house now. The keys clank against each other as he’s taking them out from his pocket, and Sungwoon’s throat begins closing up in anticipation.

“How do you like our new home?” Daniel turns the key of the door open and excitedly pushes Sungwoon in, bopping behind him before closing the door.

Sungwoon is greeted with an interior that feels like a combination between the likes of him and Daniel’s, ultimately theirs. It truly feels like a home that he would look forward to going back every evening, heck, if he could, he would want to spend endless and endless of times just in _their_ home, in the company of Daniel. He feels like his heart could burst any moment, what with how Daniel is beaming up at him, bouncing on his toes in elation and eagerness; happy that they’re finally living together and expectant of what could have been done together now that Sungwoon is moving in his house.

And so he does what he would to unleash the fluttering feeling in him, which is to grab the face of the unknowing person, and to pull Daniel down to smooch the life out of him. When he pulls away with a light chuckle, Daniel’s sputtering out nonsense and the tips of his ears are so, so red, and Sungwoon thinks this is really funny because Daniel is tall and all, but he gets so flushed and shy when he merely just surprises him with a kiss.

“Why are your ears so red?” Sungwoon asks in amusement, and tiptoes to peck again on Daniel’s lips, in which the younger man responds by covering his ears with his hands.

“No, it’s just…” Daniel presses his palm on his forehead, his other hand resting on his waist. “I just kind of, always get reminded by how you said you only allow kisses when you like someone…”

“Like remember how you always reject me?” Daniel asks earnestly before laughing at himself, shaking his head in remembrance of those nights. “And now… you’re always readily kissing me. It’s quite overwhelming, I guess?”

For a while, Sungwoon had to take a moment, because just, he didn’t expect the younger to reply his question in such a way. How he respected his opinion on how he disallowed kisses other than ones with strings attached, and how he still does. How did he gain himself such a loving and understanding partner?

Sungwoon responds with another kiss, this time longer and with a swipe of his tongue on Daniel’s lower lip and places a few kisses on Daniel’s cheeks and nose, because this boy deserves a lot of kisses, and Sungwoon shall take the honour of doing so, every day and night.

“I love you, and I’ll kiss you every second if you want me to.”

Daniel is still red, if not more.

 

 

 

Living with Daniel has been nothing but bliss.

Well, except for the sleeping habits that still surprise the living out of Sungwoon sometimes, everything else feels like a dream that he doesn’t ever wish to wake up from.

Sometimes he has to act like a mother and reprimand his kid from doing nonsensical stuff that may or may not endanger their life and cut their lifespan short, but he knows that these are the small things that make Sungwoon adore Daniel, that makes memories for him that has never existed in the past years.

“Thank you,” Sungwoon says one night, when they’re both on the bed and enjoying each other’s presence. He finds himself randomly thanking Daniel, but he himself knows why.

“Why are you always thanking me?” Daniel snickers.

Sungwoon feels like he’s being cheesy, but nonetheless, he takes Daniel’s face in his hands before telling him, “Because you saved me.”

Indeed, it is cheesy, because Daniel’s flushing beet red and continues snickering, but Sungwoon knows that inside his heart is probably melting, because the same goes for him.

“Sungwoon, thank you for accepting me.”

 

 

 

It is almost noon, the result of the both of them rolling around in bed not wanting to wake up and crack their bones, until Sungwoon hears the rumbling of Daniel’s stomach, that he is making breakfast at a timing that’s supposed to be lunch; the reason being Daniel endlessly repeating to him that he needs both breakfast and lunch, and lunch can be eaten later when they go out together.

Sungwoon finishes plating the usual breakfast combo – the common bacon and eggs – while Daniel is still in the bathroom, and suddenly his inner cheekiness decides to test Daniel’s naivety.

“Daniel!” Sungwoon calls out hurriedly in a playful manner, but yet he is still met with Daniel running into the kitchen with wide and worried eyes, arms spread out in ready to save Sungwoon from any harm.

“What? Why?” Daniel asks, almost shouts out. His hair is wet, and it looks like he still has some studs in his hair; the commotion Sungwoon did must have caused a panic in him. He’s looking everywhere, gripping Sungwoon’s shoulders and moving him left and right to see the cause of the problem, but sees nothing out of the ordinary but just the cheeky grin on Sungwoon’s face.

“Why…?” Daniel questions again, this time drawling out his question and looking suspiciously at the man in front of him.

Sungwoon simply grabs Daniel’s hands and swings their arms around like a boy, laughing at the confused look Daniel’s giving him.

“Nothing, I just love you.”

And that’s when Daniel dramatically falls down onto the cold floor, dragging Sungwoon down as well and squeezing him into a hug, whining to him about how he shouldn’t scare him like that (“Don’t scare me like that!”), and the both of them laugh together. Sungwoon feels the breeze again, feels the sensation of floating in the air, and he thinks to himself, _oh_ , so this is how it feels to truly be in love.

 

**Author's Note:**

> this went far longer than i intended it to be. it was supposed to be a 2k fic... but it became more than 5k... but i hope you guys like it although it gets kind of dark at certain parts..? ;_; this was actually supposed to be fluff with daniel being the support to sungwoon's life!! but then i slapped an au into this fic and it just drastically went down into angst T____T
> 
> as usual comments and constructive criticisms are most welcomed <3


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